Nella's new do and Dora's wedding

This weekend John suggested (jokingly) the reason Anella is a little on the wild side is because she sees most of her life through the veil of her own hair. (I decided her new nick-name is Crash.) So today I sucked up my love for long hair on girls, cut some bangs and trimmed the scraggly ends. I can't say that I love it but it's just hair. If you ever wondered what my little sister Kelly looked like as a kid now you know. Anella looks just like her. I wish I had a picture to post of Kel.

Dora did her flower girl duties over the weekend. She refers to the event as her wedding. I think I'll start hiring her out. She is SO serious about it. You've never met a flower girl who can lay flowers down and isle as straight and perfectly even as she can. She even started to clean them back up into her basket during the processional.

The whole thing was a dream come true for her. The rehearsal dinner where she got to practice with fake petals. The dinner with her own place setting and cloth napkin folded like a flower. And her own blue dress that, "matches the princesses". (bridesmaids)

Proud siblings. Not much else to report from kindergarten. He thanks God for school at dinner time but told me at bed he didn't really like the "work part". :-) I get random stories here and there which is like torture. I want a full rundown on the car ride home but he isn't having any of it. So, I wait patiently for something to trigger a story he wants to tell. Bedtime seems to be a good time for information. Maybe he just wants to stay up later. If so, it's working.

**Pregnancy update~ nothing graphic but you men may want to just call it a wrap now.**

I went to the midwife yesterday and she said I'm 1/2 a centimeter dilated. I laughed and said, "You have to say at least that to any woman or she would start crying in your office!" Anyway, I'm still 3 1/2 weeks away so I figure it doesn't matter. I don't remember even knowing at 36 weeks with the last 3. I think maybe I'm having braxton hicks contractions but I never did with the first three so I can't really tell. Anyway they don't even feel close to a regular contraction. Why are they even called that? I also told her my other babies were posterior (facing the wrong way) and I wondered if she knew if this one was. She said smiled and said, "yes, I think she is." great. prepare yourself tail bone. (sorry men, but I warned you.)

You know you're entering the last few weeks of pregnancy when...

... your 3 year old covers up your lower abdomen with the last few inches of the maternity shirt and says, (with sympathy and gentleness like I was incapable of taking care of myself) "Let's cover you up mommy. We don't want your belly showing."

A new ranking

Dora~has embraced her new role as the eldest child of the mornings... willingly. She misses Buster but is embracing life (Nella) with gusto. I'll post more on her schooling time soon.

Anella~ is not sure she likes her big sissy paying attention to her so much.
John Patrick~ Not so sure he likes missing all the action. Conversation on the way to school:

Dora, "I"m going to miss you today Buggy."

Buster, "Yeah, I'm going to miss you too."
Dora, "But you'll have fun at school with Kate, right?"
Buster, "Yeah. I guess." :-)

And this brings me to a new thought on the mini van. I love having the kids a little bit further behind my head when they're fussy but I'm really having to strain myself to listen to conversations these days. :-) I love hearing any and all stories they tell each other.

Noteworthy information from JP's day: "We read a book and made buttermilk. Then ate it on crackers." To which I pridefully and enthusiastically said, "Oh fun Buddy! Remember last year when we did that together?" He said, "No." Awesome.

He also learned this little jingle, "Obey, everyday, all the way, sloppy joes." Something seems a little off with the ending, huh?

And I got to meet Buddy the bear which we will be blessed with one weekend this year to take on many adventures. (Then the teacher showed me the journal full of stories and pictures of the last 3 years which we will also get with Buddy. My first thought was, "Anella will somehow find that and rip it to shreds." This is a bit how I feel right now. But, Isaiah says, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you." And that's exactly it so far. We're in the rivers but they can't overcome. I've found so many promises to be true in the last three weeks. Oh wait, has it been 3 days? :-) We're paddling on to His glory. And, on the bright side, the pregnancy seems to be the last thing on my mind. Heading into the last 4 weeks I'll take that any day.

Another piece of a prayer from those wonderful Puritans:

Teach me to behold my Creator, his arms outstretched, his arms big for me... May I bear his image and be throughout eternity a monument to the efficacy of his grace, a trophy of His victory... Make me willing to be saved in this way... Help me not only to receive him but to commune with him... imperfect but still pressing forward... May I feel the joy of faith!

Day 2

Every breathing soul in our house is exhausted. Two days into it and I think bedtime is going to have to be at 630. They napped for hours yesterday and we got to bed at a somewhat decent hour but apparently not enough sleep was had.

The only news he could muster up after his day was that they got to play outside longer and that most of what they did at their desks was "boooring". oh dear, reality.

The first day of school

Well, it came. And I lived through it. Might not have thought so by the look of me last night. I really should have just gone to bed at 630 and called it a day. Oh, the wonders of sleep!!

Which, is one thing we will ALL need to be getting more of tonight. 630am is much earlier than the kids are used to rising. They were so sweet today. Anella got to stay with our neighbor who she loves. So while Dora felt special to go with us to school, Anella kept reminding everyone she was going to "Keenys".

Here are the promised pictures and a few memories to go along. John Patrick rolled over in bed when I woke him, covered up his head and said, "school already?" He got over it quickly and was out of bed and chatting while getting dressed. And no, he doesn't have to wear a tie every day, just the first day and Mondays. Notice PLEASE how completely smitten Dora is with her older brother. Holding onto his arm. Oh, be still my heart. She was asking for him around 11 and was ticked when I told her we had to wait just a little longer. The only shame about this picture is that you can't see Kate's completely adorable jumper. Jack and Kate are my good friend Maria's kiddos. Kate is in John Patrick's class.At the back pack hook. So proud. Now, this was funny. As soon as we got him settled into his seat, he got this far away look on his face, eyes wandering everywhere and didn't come back out of it. He was so interested in his desk and the walls. At first I thought he looked scared but he was just half tired and half wanting to see everything at once. John and I were cracking up during the opening assembly watching him. He was yawning, looking around, picking his nose. The kindergartners (all 6 of them, 3 boys and 3 girls) were so clueless. It was amusing.When I picked him up he said, "Hi mom. I had a great day at kindergarten!" When asked what he did he said, "I don't know, we learned something about calendars but I don't really remember." Other highlights included:

• playing tag to learn the other kids names
• snack~ he said the other kids had healthier and better snacks (I thought an apple and mixed nuts was pretty healthy.) Tomorrow I'm instructed to pack either grapes, carrots or cheese.
• There is a girl with black hair who he had to tell to stop touching his head.
• He learned how to sit properly in a chair (funny how I've been trying to teach this for 4 years now but all the sudden it sunk in after one day in kindergarten.) fold his arms in front of him and push his chair in. He instructed all of us on this at lunch time.
• When I was laying with him for a nap he gave me a kiss and said, "momma, you're my favorite teacher." and then, "momma, you're my favorite momma." sniff sniff.
• He showed me his behavior chart and told me if he doesn't get a green sticker it means he did something bad that day. :-) Then, at lunch he prayed that God would please help him to do good at school.

That's the short of it. I'll keep posting things as quickly as I can so baby brain can't suck them away into oblivion.

I'm so thankful for his wonderful, kind, sweet teacher and we're all excited to see what this year brings. One last thought. The headmaster (yes, that's what he's called) was thanking the parents this morning for making the sacrifices necessary to send our kids to Cornerstone. Which is the same thing the homeschool curriculum I bought for Dora said, I and I imagine the same thing a public school parent is thinking as they work towards raising their kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. What a high calling. I pray for wisdom to always bring the gospel glory no matter what form of schooling we choose.
"Not unto us oh Lord, not unto us, but to your name be the glory!" Psalms 115:1

The last hurrah!

Whew! What a week we had last week. We decided to go with John on his trip because he flew the flight to Knoxville Tuesday evening, had all of Wednesday off, and reported again from Knoxville Thursday morning. The kids have never flown while daddy is flying the plane so it was epic. In John Patrick's words, "This is the most special day I've ever heard of." Everyone who even looked their way in the airport was told, "OUR DADDY IS FLYING THE PLANE!!!"

Here they are waving to him as he does his pre-flight walk around. He was hoping to come get us from the gate early but his last leg from Detroit got in late so he didn't have time. I think the other passengers would have been thankful if they had known he wasn't delaying the flight in order to let a bunch of toddlers push buttons in the cockpit. :-) A quick shot while the other passengers boarded. The hotel was at the airport so we couldn't go anywhere because we didn't have car seats for the hotel van. We still had a great time at the coolest hotel pool I've ever seen. It had a hot tub (where Buster is) shallow level (where dora is) with a huge waterfall, and two water falls that fell from the shallow pool into the deep pool. Definitely the best pool to spend 6 hours in. There was a conference going on directly across from the pool and we scored 14 cookies from nice hotel workers! Then, the day after we got back we took a celebratory "John Patrick is starting school" outing to the zoo with Grammy. Complete with Icee's and a toy from the gift shop! Annie and Mia ended up coming along last minute. See Kate's blog for a hysterical comment from my son. It was a fun filled week followed by a short but sweet visit from Noni and Papa over the weekend.

The new normal starts tomorrow. :-) We all did one day of Dora's preschool together today and had a great time. I learned quickly to save the precious 25 minutes of pac-n-play time Anella does for the craft/workbook portion of schooling. She's not so hot with a glue stick.

John Patrick starts kindergarten at Cornerstone tomorrow so come back later this week for a million and two pictures of him in his uniform.

what's her name

I commented on all of your helpful ideas for naming our precious little one. Thanks everyone!

I really want to get on record Dora's suggestions. I never know what to say because she's as serious as a heart attack and I have to try to respond rationally to:

1. Rose Toes
2. Rosie
3. Pinkie
4. Pretty
5. Dora
6. Ora
7. Beth (her cousin for those of you who don't know)
8. Woody (my friend's nick name)

Infatuation and some tips for life

I haven't been blogging much because I'm not interested in scaring all of you off with my hormonal sob stories over kindergarten.

Instead, we'll focus on my children's infatuation with frogs, k?

(I'll admit it, they get it from me.)
What is there not to love about this guy? (It helps the shot that there was a neon orange Frisbee on the picnic table behind the plant.) We've had a strange amount of tree frogs on our back patio this year. SO FUN!!

They are all kinds of colors and stick to everything!

This guy (North American Grey Tree Frog) could change colors like a chameleon.

I don't know if you can tell... We had royally ticked him off by the time I got my camera out.

Take my word for it though, when we found him he was a cool light green. Like army camouflage. It was really neat to watch!

I'm ready for my close up Mister Demille. (what in the heck is that from anyway?)

Here is my view of my feet these days~ I'm very excited to meet little What's-her-name. What? You don't approve of that name? Then lets go people!! Some baby naming website says my naming genre is "retro classic" so start cranking out the suggestions. I'm thinking of a cash prize for the winner. Just kidding. My husband might not agree.

And now, onto tips for life. Nothing earth shattering.

1. If you can't take the heat, stay inside and pretend like my kids to be living with polar bears.

2. Or else get out the sprinkler... your grass will thank you.

Lastly, a precious story about John Patrick that I don't want to forget.

Last Thursday we went to a little baseball birthday party for a friend of John Patrick's. There were about 4 little boys around 5 years old all chasing each other around with stick guns and sliding down dirt mounds. Right in the middle of flying by the moms JP diverts just long enough to yell "Here mom!" and cheerfully hand me a squished Queen Anne's Lace wild flower. It's a good thing I was in a crowd of people with a grumpy little girl to distract me. There would have been tears.

a little too casual

I'll post pictures of our fun at Lake Barkley soon but I didn't bring my camera so I have to wait for my siblings to share pictures with me. It takes an act of congress to get our family out of the house sometimes so forgetting something like my camera isn't all that surprising. We had all the kids.
Here is my quick, casual conversation with Anella:
me- "Anella, sit down on your chair... say "yes, momma"
nels- "yeah mom"

I suppose it's a step up from just plain "no" which is where we have been lately.

Along the same lines...

(read my previous post to understand this one)

I was reminded today of these lyrics:

"How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give his only Son to make a reach his treasure. How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns his face away, as wounds which mare the chosen one, bring many sons to glory!!!!"

Here is the link to hear the whole song. I'm sure lots of you know it. But it's worth taking 3 minutes.

I'm having a hard time with kindergarten. Imagine giving your perfect child for those who despise Him.... no wonder my good works have nothing to do with my standing with God.
(I can't promise my blog won't be along these lines for awhile. It's one of those times for me.)

With open hands

The day John Patrick arrived I knew, like all parents, that something wild had just taken a grip on my heart. I found out about 8 hours later when they took him away in an ambulance to a different hospital what it meant to have part of myself feel like it's being taken away. But I also wanted him to go as quickly as possible because I knew it was best. I remember thinking, "He's yours God. Protect him and heal him. Do whatever is best for him."

A few months later when all was well with his health and we were enjoying a wonderful bible study at our home, I remember breaking down in tears all alone in the office. Thanking God for John Patrick and pleading that he reach his heart and open his eyes to Jesus' saving work on the cross.

There have been many moments between then and now where I've crept into his room after he was asleep and rocked him and cried over him, full of love and not knowing what else to do.

Here's the thing, pregnancy hormones blazing, I'm losing it over here trying to let kindergarten arrive in three weeks. It doesn't matter if I'm reading over the list of school supplies or trying on uniform pants, I'm taking deep breaths so I don't scare John Patrick.

It's not that I don't think, just like in the hospital that first night, "do what's best Lord, please" It's just that I don't think I've ever realised how tightly I've gripped him (all of them) in my heart. I want what's best but really, couldn't I be with him every moment of every day? (hear the sarcasm, please)

I could go a million ways with the rest of this post but I'll save you all the confusion my husband patiently endures.

My point is this: When my focus comes away from remembering the ruling God that saved me and loves me is on his throne... When I forget the promises he has for his people have never failed... I start to panic!

All of the sudden my heart lives for this child and I can feel time itself running away with my baby and I can't get a grip on it and I panic!

BUT when I remember that while I was running hard away from Him, selling myself to anything for moments of love that never really quenched the thirst... and He stepped in and opened my eyes to TRUTH. He took the punishment, he took the blame, for all my disbelief and selfishness and he requires NOTHING but peace-filled obedience in return and he will stand interceding for my forgiveness forever.... oh people.

I know that this may seem ridiculous to some. It's kindergarten you say. Actually, it's one of these moments I'm starting to realise are gifts as much as they hurt. He's just using kindergarten to show me more of where my heart doubts.

So, I cannot say I will cry any less but it doesn't sting quite the same. Knowing if he peels back another layer of my sinful heart I'll learn more of his amazing grace. And John Patrick, in the mean time, will be exactly where he should be, held tight in my Father's arms. (Although a little sad that he doesn't get to ride a school bus... maybe I should talk to him about idols of the heart? :-)