what's her name

I commented on all of your helpful ideas for naming our precious little one. Thanks everyone!

I really want to get on record Dora's suggestions. I never know what to say because she's as serious as a heart attack and I have to try to respond rationally to:

1. Rose Toes
2. Rosie
3. Pinkie
4. Pretty
5. Dora
6. Ora
7. Beth (her cousin for those of you who don't know)
8. Woody (my friend's nick name)

Infatuation and some tips for life

I haven't been blogging much because I'm not interested in scaring all of you off with my hormonal sob stories over kindergarten.

Instead, we'll focus on my children's infatuation with frogs, k?

(I'll admit it, they get it from me.)
What is there not to love about this guy? (It helps the shot that there was a neon orange Frisbee on the picnic table behind the plant.) We've had a strange amount of tree frogs on our back patio this year. SO FUN!!

They are all kinds of colors and stick to everything!

This guy (North American Grey Tree Frog) could change colors like a chameleon.

I don't know if you can tell... We had royally ticked him off by the time I got my camera out.

Take my word for it though, when we found him he was a cool light green. Like army camouflage. It was really neat to watch!

I'm ready for my close up Mister Demille. (what in the heck is that from anyway?)

Here is my view of my feet these days~ I'm very excited to meet little What's-her-name. What? You don't approve of that name? Then lets go people!! Some baby naming website says my naming genre is "retro classic" so start cranking out the suggestions. I'm thinking of a cash prize for the winner. Just kidding. My husband might not agree.

And now, onto tips for life. Nothing earth shattering.

1. If you can't take the heat, stay inside and pretend like my kids to be living with polar bears.

2. Or else get out the sprinkler... your grass will thank you.

Lastly, a precious story about John Patrick that I don't want to forget.

Last Thursday we went to a little baseball birthday party for a friend of John Patrick's. There were about 4 little boys around 5 years old all chasing each other around with stick guns and sliding down dirt mounds. Right in the middle of flying by the moms JP diverts just long enough to yell "Here mom!" and cheerfully hand me a squished Queen Anne's Lace wild flower. It's a good thing I was in a crowd of people with a grumpy little girl to distract me. There would have been tears.

a little too casual

I'll post pictures of our fun at Lake Barkley soon but I didn't bring my camera so I have to wait for my siblings to share pictures with me. It takes an act of congress to get our family out of the house sometimes so forgetting something like my camera isn't all that surprising. We had all the kids.
Here is my quick, casual conversation with Anella:
me- "Anella, sit down on your chair... say "yes, momma"
nels- "yeah mom"

I suppose it's a step up from just plain "no" which is where we have been lately.

Along the same lines...

(read my previous post to understand this one)

I was reminded today of these lyrics:

"How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give his only Son to make a reach his treasure. How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns his face away, as wounds which mare the chosen one, bring many sons to glory!!!!"

Here is the link to hear the whole song. I'm sure lots of you know it. But it's worth taking 3 minutes.

I'm having a hard time with kindergarten. Imagine giving your perfect child for those who despise Him.... no wonder my good works have nothing to do with my standing with God.
(I can't promise my blog won't be along these lines for awhile. It's one of those times for me.)

With open hands

The day John Patrick arrived I knew, like all parents, that something wild had just taken a grip on my heart. I found out about 8 hours later when they took him away in an ambulance to a different hospital what it meant to have part of myself feel like it's being taken away. But I also wanted him to go as quickly as possible because I knew it was best. I remember thinking, "He's yours God. Protect him and heal him. Do whatever is best for him."

A few months later when all was well with his health and we were enjoying a wonderful bible study at our home, I remember breaking down in tears all alone in the office. Thanking God for John Patrick and pleading that he reach his heart and open his eyes to Jesus' saving work on the cross.

There have been many moments between then and now where I've crept into his room after he was asleep and rocked him and cried over him, full of love and not knowing what else to do.

Here's the thing, pregnancy hormones blazing, I'm losing it over here trying to let kindergarten arrive in three weeks. It doesn't matter if I'm reading over the list of school supplies or trying on uniform pants, I'm taking deep breaths so I don't scare John Patrick.

It's not that I don't think, just like in the hospital that first night, "do what's best Lord, please" It's just that I don't think I've ever realised how tightly I've gripped him (all of them) in my heart. I want what's best but really, couldn't I be with him every moment of every day? (hear the sarcasm, please)

I could go a million ways with the rest of this post but I'll save you all the confusion my husband patiently endures.

My point is this: When my focus comes away from remembering the ruling God that saved me and loves me is on his throne... When I forget the promises he has for his people have never failed... I start to panic!

All of the sudden my heart lives for this child and I can feel time itself running away with my baby and I can't get a grip on it and I panic!

BUT when I remember that while I was running hard away from Him, selling myself to anything for moments of love that never really quenched the thirst... and He stepped in and opened my eyes to TRUTH. He took the punishment, he took the blame, for all my disbelief and selfishness and he requires NOTHING but peace-filled obedience in return and he will stand interceding for my forgiveness forever.... oh people.

I know that this may seem ridiculous to some. It's kindergarten you say. Actually, it's one of these moments I'm starting to realise are gifts as much as they hurt. He's just using kindergarten to show me more of where my heart doubts.

So, I cannot say I will cry any less but it doesn't sting quite the same. Knowing if he peels back another layer of my sinful heart I'll learn more of his amazing grace. And John Patrick, in the mean time, will be exactly where he should be, held tight in my Father's arms. (Although a little sad that he doesn't get to ride a school bus... maybe I should talk to him about idols of the heart? :-)