First things first

The seasons have officially changed and I think it's time to get rid of the pumpkins huh? This is how lots of things around here are. Well past time to do something with or to them by the time I get around to it.

I'll start with the Thanksgiving party at school. Other than when I almost made one boy cry it was a huge success. We played the relay game where you have to open a brown paper bag and put on whatever you find in it and run back to tag the next person's hand. Instead of separating boys and girls clothes I just piled all the bags up. One of the little boys opened the apron and bonnet and looked up with a terrible face like he was about to cry and said, "I need to pee" and ran out of the room. oops. John Patrick thoroughly enjoyed his days off from school. Crafting often and random dress ups is one of their favorite past times. The army helmet colander made me smile.


The day after Thanksgiving was VERY relaxed. We planned to put up our tree the following week and neither of us are into shopping that day so we just laid around and enjoyed each other... okay and cartoons.

Haha. I don't know what in the world she's talking about but I'm so glad I caught it!

We celebrated Uncle Jason's birthday on Wednesday. Notice how I ran out of frosting. It was home made German chocolate so it was plenty rich enough to be thin.

Maria had the most genius idea. We are trying to flip flop each week when one of us takes the kids to school the other one keeps all the kids so we can run errands. Or just sit and stare at a wall. whatever. It also gives Sam and Hope a chance to get to know each other since they're betrothed.

I might say this every year but this time I mean it: our tree this year is my favorite. Our ceilings are really high so it's easy to want a tall tree but we don't really have all that much floor space open. This year's tree is just tall enough without being way to big around at the bottom.

My girls.

Hope is cooing and smiling lots now. She is a very content and easy baby.
I think she looks like a combo of my dad and Dora.


I have lots of other thoughts I would like to get out and share. Like how God has been showing me lately that I didn't really understand my position in Christ. I'm saying this really flippantly partly because of time (I need to run errands soon) and partly because I have a hard time getting thoughts out this way. When I communicate in person I have to use lots and lots of words to get my thought out. That isn't really a fun read.

Partly through the book I mentioned recently (Because he loves me) and partly through parenting God showed me that I wasn't really operating like I'm forgiven. I heap a LOT of guilt on myself. Especially when it comes to my kids. Does anyone else do that? It's like because I love them soooooo much I feel like total trash when I think I've done something to screw them up for the rest of their lives. (usually this is along the lines of loosing my temper)

Anyway, I just realized that I have always wallowed in my sin. I have a hard time facing Jesus and consequently do the same things over and over because I'm trying to fix it by slapping myself with a self help bible verse or something.

But, I just realized, (I know this really basic) that immediately when I sin I can look to Jesus and he has already taken the punishment for it. When I feel like a total and complete wretch I'm actually seen by God as one who only does everything I should. Because Jesus was already punished for it. Amazing. I mean it. I didn't get this before. I'm not saying I would consider myself as just becoming a believer but I am saying I've kind of been living as if I get to go to heaven one day where I won't sin but as for right now I'm just hanging out and making God really sad because of my lack of obedience. It's so freeing. There isn't ever a time gap in time now when I feel less than completely able to face Him. It makes it MUCH more likely that I don't repeat that sin so quickly.

Okay, really hard to wrap this topic up but I have to. Thanks for hanging on this long if you're still reading and I really do hope for all of you that you are living in this freedom like I am now.

PS. You'll never hear me singing to my kids that second line of Jesus Loves Me that I've heard before, "Jesus loves me when I'm bad, though it makes him very sad." I'm still praying and asking God to explain how he does view my sin, but I don't think he sits up there disappointed at me. Whatever the response is I bet it's full of love not disappointment.